Women's 10k!

Awesome day!
Got to meet a few Team McGraw teammates! Nice to finally meet in person.
Didn't really have too many jitters - went to bed repeating to myself that I CAN do it and I WILL do it.
An amazing experience to run with over 8,000 women! The weather was great and the vibes were all good.
I took very few walk breaks - ran the first 2 miles straight except to slow down for a few sips of water. I was a little worried since my leg started a minor throb walking to the race from the car. But it held strong - not pain free but minor...until Mile 5. That's when the discomfort really kicked in. I changed my stride and it helped for a bit and then I just gritted my teeth, turned up the music and went the rest of the way. Iced it as soon as I got home...then took a hot shower and it really loosened up.
So fun!
I needed a race like that. And I will most definitely be doing it again next year.
I am woman - hear me roar!

Crappy Ass Run

Horrible. The WORST both mentally and physically. And sadly, there is nobody to blame but myself. Here's what I learned: I'm out of shape, I'm not young anymore, I'm not consistent, I'm a quitter.
The out of shape thing and the consistency part go together. I'm out of shape because I'm not consistent. I'm not consistent because I let EVERYTHING get in my way. So I get a pink slip and instead of using that to fuel me - I use that as an excuse to be a slacker.
I'm not young anymore. I stayed up too late last night and drank too much. Drank too much the night before a run...and a run on the heels of me being a slacker. Woke up early to make sure I would have time for a little caffeine, some fluids and a bit of bagel. Didn't leave enough time to sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes with non-stop poop. So now we're running a bit late and there is no immodium in the house and no time to stop. I'm just going to hope for the best.
Get to the race and my stomache is cramping and rolling. I get my tag and bag of goodies and walk over to the t-shirt table. So I'm hungover and feeling like crap and the guy says, "Extra Large?" Um, no. Thanks for adding to my misery. I think I can fit into a medium. At this point - Chris was wise enough to just walk away from me because he knew an all out meltdown was close by. We tag up and head outside where it's gotta be like 100 degrees with blazing sun and "Cotton Eye Joe!" CRANKIN. Is this for real?
I decide that I'm just going to walk the race but you know that everyone started running so I have to run too. I'm not even to mile ONE and I feel like I'm going to barf, poop, pass out -you name it. But what am I going to do - just stop?? So I keep going. There are NO water stops along the way. WHO THE FUCK SET THIS RACE UP?? IT'S 90DEGREES OUTSIDE! Luckily - some residents and business owners started handing out cups of water or hot bottles of water. Thank you! Every time I jogged my belly rumbled so I walked. And sweat. I really think I was on the edge of dehydration (and yes Coach - I DID just read your blog about running smart in the heat but I'm an idiot). I pass the family cheering section - all I wanted to do was yell "Why are you even wasting your time cheering for me??? LOOK AT ME!" But it's not my kids' fault I'm an idiot.
This race will not end. It's 5k but I swear it felt like 20k. Finally - I see the finish line WAY up ahead. I see Chris (hasn't run in 2 years but finished in like 30 min) & Liz (probably finished in like 15 minutes) yelling to me & waving - I yell at them to just stop. 15 feet from the finish line I hang a left and head to the car crying. What's the point of crossing that line - I saw the clock. I know my shitty time. And I don't need to be crawling over that fucking line.
Not good. Not good at all.
I have never quit anything but a job. I don't like it. I feel like a loser.
So now you know I am weak. But also know that I'm committed to something and begged people to donate to me so it's time to get my shit together. 160 days - it's time to kick it into high gear.

It's been a while...

Sorry y'all. I haven't really had much to say. I'm just plugging away but not really feeling like I'm making much progress. I'll just keep at it.
So I've been sticking to my weight training - I've got a decent routine so it's going well. And of course I'm sticking with my running. I've lightened up a little bit on the distance - didn't want to push it too much while I was waiting to get to the physical therapist. Since I was ahead with my training anyway - I decided to play it safe and go back about 2 weeks. So really - I just cut my long run back about 2 miles. Maybe it wasn't the right move but for me it feels like the right move so I'm happy with my decision. I'm also sticking with the 4 min run, 2 min walk - pretty easy and I feel like I could go on forever.
I went to the physical therapist last night for the first time. I basically got electro-shock therapy to my ass. Kind of weird...little electric things were put on my butt cheek and my hamstring - then he cranked them up AND put a heating pad on me. Sat like that for a bit - and then he stretched me out. I'm really flexible and the pain can really only be reproduced while walking or running (or standing for a long time) so I'm not feeling too good that my insurance is going to cover additional visits. Cheapos. But I was given some specific stretches and I've got the foam rollers to use at the gym so we'll see what happens. I do have another appointment tomorrow night so...
Oh - and the one thing I learned was that there is no way I should be using the elliptical now. Fine with me since I don't really care for it anyway but apparently it's not good for my hips.
Also - I got a new iPod for Mother's Day!! Yeah! I loved my old one but in comparison it didn't hold much music. Plus now I also have a radio for those times when my music just isn't cutting it. I really do have quite eclectic taste in music. And now I can also listen to audiobooks - never have before but I'm going to give it a try.
I've got a local 5k coming up Memorial Day. Should be fun - Chris is going to run with me...and Liz too I think. We're going to run past Chris' cousin's so they will cheer us on while watching the kids then we'll all go back there for some beers and BBQ.
After that I've got the 10K Women's run in Central Park. Should be awesome to run with a few Team McGraw teammates!!
As of right now there are 180 days and I'm SCARED. Truly scared.

Just things....

Today I did a 5k. I had fun. Do I really need to say more? I peed like 20 times before the start, I collected a bunch of freebies (my favorite being the Aquafina hydrating lip oil!), had my hubby & kids with me to send me off and cheer me on and congratulate when I finished (run-on sentence, I know), beat my time, gained some confidence at getting to the start line alone, conquered a major hill (I swear this thing was VERTICAL!), etc, etc, etc.
Seriously - I had a great day. My digestive system has been a little weird lately thanks to stress...but I didn't really have any jitters so all was good. One thing that was slightly annoying was the confusion over the start line but whatever - eventually, we all started. So - the clock read exactly 38 minutes when I crossed the finish line. MY time was probably more like 34 minutes by the time I personally crossed the confusing start line. I also attempted to calibrate my watch again but I think that didn't work so well - will do it on the treadmill at the gym.

The gym

I joined the gym.
In my past life (that would be life before kids), I enjoyed going to the gym. I was relatively consistent too. I was a big fan of Body For Life/Bill Phillips - I entered a couple of challenges yet never submitted my completed package since I really didn't feel I made big progress.
Then came the kids. And the fat. Not that I have EVER been thin but I've always been pretty healthy.
So now that I've bitten off more then I can chew with the marathon - I'm going full force. I want to do a bit of weight training and with the summer coming up I'll have some time on my hands so maybe I can take a few classes here & there.
Step one at the gym is to have a nurse check you out - Hey! I'm not fat anymore! And my BMI is all good..and my body is hydrated well (thank you coconut water).
Step two - meet with a trainer. Apparently I have excellent balance, good core strength, great flexibility....but my neck is tight. Ummm - if you lived my life wouldn't your neck be tight too?
I'm meeting with him again tomorrow morning - he's coming up with a 6 week plan for me. And he's excited to match it up with my marathon training. I'm guessing that 2-3 days a week I will do weight training and the rest I will run...with a day of rest of course.
This is all part of joining this gym - he's not MY personal trainer. I figured what the hell - if I have to shell out $$ for the registration fee I should take everything they offer.
He suggested I think about HIIT - High intensity interval training. I could do this 1-2 days a week. Told him I would think about it for summer time. Of course, that's another $250. But then again - in the summer I'll be looking for things to do so maybe it's worth a try. I could do my weekday runs EARLY to beat the heat, then head to the gym with the kids (there is a play room) - the HIIT program is only 20-30 minutes.
OH - and there is no treadmill time limit so on those stupid humid days when you can't even breathe, I can run there.
There is also a pool but I probably won't use it. Although surviving the marathon could lead to triathlons. Yeah right. Well really, who knows. I could be turning into a whole new person here.

Treat your body with respect!

PS - Every time I type the word "Marathon" I accidentally put a "g" on the end. Does that mean that my subconscious thinks one day I will be walking along a beach in a thong? Ha - it makes me laugh every time.

Hurdle

This morning I set out to overcome a mental hurdle. After last weekend's bullshit with me freaking myself out so much that I couldn't even think about doing the 15k - I was determined to conquer it this weekend.
One minor road block was that I hadn't been able to put much time into my weekly runs - not because I didn't want to but because I had the nasty cough/chest cold my kids had the week before. Still, I was determined.
I set out around 10am this morning. My spibelt filled with GU, tissues, & chapstick. My ipod sort of charged. 2 miles in and I thought, "This is a mistake. You've barely run this week. You're coughing like crazy still...finish the first 3+ miles then call it quits". But then my multiple personality disorder kicked in and I said, "Fuck it. There is always going to be something that COULD hold you back." So I "manned up" and just kept going. I had to make a pit stop at home real quick to pee after about 3.5 miles but I went right back to it. The GU wasn't nasty this time and it defnitely gave me the energy I needed. I kept checking my watch. I knew I was taking more frequent walk breaks but really, who cares? I was doing the best I could even though I was coughing a lot.
I'm happy to say that I completed a little over 9 miles in just over 2 hours. My average pace was a 13.5 min/mile....my runs were around 12 ish my walks were around 14 ish. My alarm only went "ding, ding, ding" twice and that was when I tried to pull a tissue out without ripping it.
There were no tears and no limping. My leg hurts a bit now but now too bad.
Now for the big decision. Do I run the Rutgers half with my Team McGraw teammate on April 18th or is that pushing it too far, too fast?? I don't want to set myself up for failure but I also don't want to be a wuss. And it would be a HUGE confidence booster.
What are your thoughts???

Mental Strength

Apparently I have none.
The jitters started early and they just wouldn't stop. I'm so pissed at myself.
Perhaps this is too much info for you so if Poop makes you uncomfortable - stop reading this post.
I have my routine. If I miss my "window" I'm miserable. So I was quite happy when I woke up at 6:30am and felt the need to go. Yes! I'm done - Now I won't have to worry about it. WRONG. As the time came closer to leave the hotel and head to the park - I pooped every 10 minutes. You gotta be kidding me. But what could I do - we headed out and I just hoped I wouldn't actually have to make an emergency pit stop in a port-a-potty.
It was pointed out to me that I was unusually quiet. Sadly, I was letting myself get into my head and scramble things around. The rest of the girls were going to be doing the 4 miler....my start time was an hour and 15 minutes LATER - kind of weird. That means I would be standing around for that long all by myself, freaking myself out. I went up to one of the NYRR volunteers and asked if I could do the other race - apparently it didn't matter which one but once you start one - you can't run both.
After a little internal fighting, I decided to just do the 4 miler. According to my watch, it's longer than that but whatever. I finished well. I found a woman I considered my pacer - she was taking short walk breaks and was running a speed I was comfortable with so I either kept her in my sights or knew she wasn't too far behind me.
As I was starting to round the last bend - I saw Chris, the kids and Emme looking for me and a little bit further up was the finish line. I was at a good steady jog but my pacer was walking. I slowed down, waited for her to get close, tugged her sleeve and said, "Let's go pacer - we're running in together!" She started laughing but got back to running with me.
BUT.....once I crossed that finish line I KNEW I could've gone further. Damn it.
I felt kind of bummed out for a while and yes, I know this is shocking, but I was acting like a total bitch. Disappointment does not bring out the best in me.
My digestion was still doing somersaults so in reality, if I had been allowed to carry on - there would have been an emergency stop.
Although really pissed off at myself, I'm going to consider this a learning experience. I know I have to sign up for a bunch of races during my training in order to practice handling the jitters and build up my confidence. And I should probably carry immodium (thank you, Patrick, for running out of lunch to go get me some so I could eat!).
Next weekend I WILL be running 9 miles - and even though I'll be on my own, I WILL finish within the time limit that was posted for today. Shouldn't be a problem since, according to my watch, when I'm jogging I fluctuate between a 10 min/mile and 12 min/mile...my walk break are 13 min/miles and when I slow down to sip some water I'm around 15 min/mile.
I'm going to look into hypnosis to help overcome my nerves.