Apparently I have none.
The jitters started early and they just wouldn't stop. I'm so pissed at myself.
Perhaps this is too much info for you so if Poop makes you uncomfortable - stop reading this post.
I have my routine. If I miss my "window" I'm miserable. So I was quite happy when I woke up at 6:30am and felt the need to go. Yes! I'm done - Now I won't have to worry about it. WRONG. As the time came closer to leave the hotel and head to the park - I pooped every 10 minutes. You gotta be kidding me. But what could I do - we headed out and I just hoped I wouldn't actually have to make an emergency pit stop in a port-a-potty.
It was pointed out to me that I was unusually quiet. Sadly, I was letting myself get into my head and scramble things around. The rest of the girls were going to be doing the 4 miler....my start time was an hour and 15 minutes LATER - kind of weird. That means I would be standing around for that long all by myself, freaking myself out. I went up to one of the NYRR volunteers and asked if I could do the other race - apparently it didn't matter which one but once you start one - you can't run both.
After a little internal fighting, I decided to just do the 4 miler. According to my watch, it's longer than that but whatever. I finished well. I found a woman I considered my pacer - she was taking short walk breaks and was running a speed I was comfortable with so I either kept her in my sights or knew she wasn't too far behind me.
As I was starting to round the last bend - I saw Chris, the kids and Emme looking for me and a little bit further up was the finish line. I was at a good steady jog but my pacer was walking. I slowed down, waited for her to get close, tugged her sleeve and said, "Let's go pacer - we're running in together!" She started laughing but got back to running with me.
BUT.....once I crossed that finish line I KNEW I could've gone further. Damn it.
I felt kind of bummed out for a while and yes, I know this is shocking, but I was acting like a total bitch. Disappointment does not bring out the best in me.
My digestion was still doing somersaults so in reality, if I had been allowed to carry on - there would have been an emergency stop.
Although really pissed off at myself, I'm going to consider this a learning experience. I know I have to sign up for a bunch of races during my training in order to practice handling the jitters and build up my confidence. And I should probably carry immodium (thank you, Patrick, for running out of lunch to go get me some so I could eat!).
Next weekend I WILL be running 9 miles - and even though I'll be on my own, I WILL finish within the time limit that was posted for today. Shouldn't be a problem since, according to my watch, when I'm jogging I fluctuate between a 10 min/mile and 12 min/mile...my walk break are 13 min/miles and when I slow down to sip some water I'm around 15 min/mile.
I'm going to look into hypnosis to help overcome my nerves.
Do not kick yourself over this! It was a learning experience,and a good one.
ReplyDeleteYou ran for a great cause - that's all that matters in the end!
I love this! The best part of this story is your plan to do some other races to get over the jitters; that's a great call. The whole "event" scene, the organizational process, the port-a-potty locations...all part of the deal. It's a great learning tool, so good job.
ReplyDeletePretty standard fare for a marathon, too; first thing to do when you arrive...
...get in line for the potty.
And carry some Purell!
ReplyDeletePoop happens. Yeah... porto-johns are a normal part of the endurance athlete's life. Welcome to the party! A few tips... eat your last big meal at least 12 hours before the race. Eliminate fiber and salad, etc in the 24 hours prior to the race. If you need to eat breakfast try and finish it at least 2 hours prior to race time. Won't eliminate the jitters but might give them less to "work with".
ReplyDelete