Getting it done

12 miles done today. 25 miles done for the week PLUS ChaLEAN Extreme.
I am getting the miles in has not been hard to do thanks to summer vacation. I worry about what will happen when school starts back up soon. I have a feeling there will be a ton of coffee added to my days.

I am going into this last 10 weeks of training stronger than I was for the last two marathons. I'm strength training, cross training, stretching, properly fueling - you name, I'm doing it. I know I am stronger and that's awesome...I wish stronger also meant a tad faster too though.

I've been very angry. Angry with tumors, angry with chemo (happy it's there though too), angry at people who are assholes, angry at myself for sometimes not being able to put things in perspective, and I guess just angry at the world. But I think of Rage Against the Machine reminding me that "anger is a gift" - it is. It pushes me. Without it, I would probably be curled up in a dark corner by now.

I read an interesting statistic the other day. It was about how many times a person lies in  a day, a week, a month, a year. And that the most common lie is to say, "I'm fine." Yes, how true that is. Why? Because very few people REALLY want to know the truth. Most people are either just being socially polite or just want to stay sheltered from anything that can be taken as bad.

I have more on my shoulders than most people do. Do you want to know the shit that goes through my head? No - you want me to just say, "I'm fine." So I lie to you. Right now, having to lie makes me angry but as I said already, anger motivates me. So I guess I should be thanking you for not REALLY wanting to know which puts me in a position to lie.

Don't get me wrong - most days I really am fine, most days I know that no matter what I will be fine.
And some days I know that I will always "Hold my head high but my middle finger higher."

Ugh.

As I sit here typing this, I'm trying to figure out a way to NOT have my negative feelings from today's run take over my entire week of training. I will do my best.
I have been working so hard. My entire body right now is just fatigued. It's not helping that I haven't been sleeping great and that I have woken up the last few days with serious sinus pressure.

During the week I spent my time doing about 4 mile runs (I've been playing around with my walk break intervals), Turbo Jam, and Turbo Sculpt. I've also been doing way more core work in order to avoid the lower back fatique as the training runs get longer.

My nutrition has been spot on. I'm logging every single thing - including GU, my coffee, whatever. I'm making much better choices yet I also refuse to totally deny myself what I love (ie: coconut ice cream).

For whatever reason I was feeling anxiety about today's long run. Probably turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy in a sense. A 10 miler is long but it's not a distance I'm unfamiliar with. Somehow though, I still didn't sleep - I tossed & turned and thought about it. I want to be able to just go out there and RUN. I'm so damn sick of walk breaks and feeling like a wuss. I don't get why in my 3rd marathon training season I'm STILL going the same pace and I'm still dependent on walk breaks. WTF?

I dreaded going out but skipping a long run is just not an option. I just was so beat down. My water bottles felt heavy, my legs didn't want to move, sweat was dripping in my eyes & temporarily blinding me. I wanted to just go home. I walked more than I ran which just really pissed me off. Right now, I'm just so annoyed.

I will go easy on myself the next two days. I will spend some time swimming and stretching...and maybe a brisk walk. I will get back in the running groove on Tuesday.

July Wrap-Up

Since my last post, I have put in lots and lots of miles. I've been fairly consistent with my scheduled runs and I've been doing my best to incorporate cross-training and strength. I've been sticking with Turbo Jam - sometimes Cardio Party, sometimes Turbo Sculpt. Every once in a while I through in a Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - I feel like it shocks my muscles and wakes up those that have been on autopilot.

As for my sneakers, my wallet took a hit when I opted to take the next step in the world of Newtons. Worth every penny! My piriformis, my hamstring, my knee, - you name it- are ALL happier. Which makes me happier. Cause & Effect :)

I haven't had a chance to go back into this blog and look at previous July posts but I'm confident that I said something about the heat. I have NEVER felt so hot and drained as I did on last Saturday's 12 mile long run in Florida. Obviously, on run days I made a point to get out early when it's cooler and my mom & I went the route that provided the most shade. On 3-4 mile runs, not a problem. The first Saturday we were down there, our long run was a 9 miler. HOT. We went over the bridge that was just blazing sun - the entire time I was thinking, "Holy shit, how are we going to do the 12 miler??" Throughout the week, I tried to keep my muscles primed with swimming, stretching and some water jogging/squats. I ate more than needed and I had a beverage here & there but I kept my hydration solid.
Saturday's 12 miler was a KILLER. Hot doesn't even describe it. Legs were like lead, head was foggy. There was a slow, limping walk to wrap up the mileage but it.got.done. That's what matters.

Now we are home and the training is about to seriously ramp up. I'm excited, a bit anxious, and ready for it. I'm stronger this year. I'm eating better this year.
I'm still slow - maybe I always will be. But I can go the distance. And I will.

2 weeks

So, this post will cover the last 2 weeks. After the Giants 5k I had a standard week of training. Combination of running and Turbo Jam depending on the day. Then, we went down the shore. At the start of this trip I had the mentality of, "I'm on vacation!" Yet 2 days into the trip I woke up and realized that I don't really get a vacation from training-I just get different scenery. I went out for my first run down there. I actually have a tough time running down the shore. Not really sure why-different routes, different allergens, lack of any kind of shade. I really just don't know. This first run turned into only 2 miles and Jillian Michael's yoga. Next day I did a Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. This is all great but it is Not marathon training. I can't get stronger as a runner if I constantly shy away from a run. Running would have to get done...and it did. Now back on home turf and running is going smoothly. I have shifted some days around just to deal with the relentless heat wave. Today's 6 miler was fantastic. I smiled. I sang. I ran. I did NOT wear a watch. I'm working very hard to get where I want to be. Thank you for the continued support.

Giants Stadium 5k

Worked diligently this week to make sure that my upcoming training schedule will work. I made sure to run on the days I have slated to run on. I also made sure I could fit in yoga & strength training. I love summer! What will happen when school starts back up in September is still an unknown.

I feel good. Still trying to come up with a realistic diet but I'm a work in progress. I know I am going in the right direction so I will just keep at it. This training week wrapped up with a Giants Stadium Run with Champions 5k. Last night I made a big announcement (well, I said it out loud so that's big) that I was going to run this race hard. Didn't turn out that way. Interesting crowd at this race. Lots of first time race participants (you can tell by the water stations). Obviously lots of Giants fans too.

I want to give big ups to the runners & walkers today because today was the first race I have ever been in where it was SILENT during the National Anthem. I am not an overly patriotic person but I am silent during this or sing along and it Pisses me off that people continue their conversations. Anyway-it was a nice change.

It was Hot though. You would think 82 degrees would be a treat considering the week we had but it was scorching. No shade. Cooking blacktop. Yuk. As a NYRR race you knew you could at least count on the water stations. Just hot. I just couldn't pick up my pace. It's done though. I finished yet I didn't come close to busting my PR like I had hoped.

I'm excited yet anxious to start crossing off the official marathon training days. 132 days to go. So close yet so far.

Portugal Run

Extremely early on Father's Day I awoke to get myself together in order to hit Central Park for the Portugal run 5 miler. There used to be a day that a 5 mile run would make me anxious, then came a day when a 5 mile run was looked forward to. This run just was what it was. I knew that I could complete a 5 mile race somehow, if my leg started to hurt really bad I felt comfortable walking. But at the same, I've been trying to minimize walk breaks (or at least run faster between walk breaks!). What had me somewhat concerned was that I had not had a solid week of training.

Last week of school craziness and other obligations kept me from really being able to put any time in and left me feeling completely exhausted. 5 miles could definitely be completed but would've been even better had I had a better training week.

The race itself was fine - weather was overcast and actually a little chilly in the early hours. I cannot find my damn arm warmers anywhere so I toughed it out and started the race with goosebumps. Again, I wore the Newtons - what I like about these on a race day is that I can't walk as fast on my walk breaks so I force myself to run more. This all would be great if my left leg didn't start twinging just getting to the start line! A mile into the course and was digging my fingers into my booty muscle for counterpressure. This also left me with the rest of the rest time repeating to myself, "Make an appointment with the sports doctor, Make an appointment with the sport doctor." I got it done, slower than I would've liked but not horrible so I am content.

My pride sits with my kids right now. They are rockstars on the track. Marley brought home a 2nd place medal for the Relay Championships! Little 6 year old Sean brought home a bronze medal for the Relay Championships - a bronze medal is quite amazing considering he raced with 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders! He also was awarded with a Coach Award - an engraved trophy recognizing his awesomeness. ROCK.STARS.

With official marathon training starting in about 2 weeks I'm getting myself on track physically and mentally. I'm anxious but also excited. Miles and miles will be put in. This year I will be incorporating more yoga and strength. My nutrition is a little more primed as well.

If you haven't donated yet, I beg you to please do so. xoxo

One of my favorites

NYC Marathon - a whopping 26.2 miles - is one of my two favorite races. The amount of training, the excitement, the crowds, all of the craziness. Fast or slow doesn't matter - it's the overall experience. I was sucked into this race when I went about 4 years ago to cheer on a dear friend. Who knew the day would be so emotional and I would be so inspired that I would participate the following year.

In training, there is racing. A way to practice race day prep, a way to practice calming of the nerves (and poop), and a way to get accustomed to race day territory. My very first race I completed before I decided to participate in the marathon. My nerves were running on high but I wasn't alone that day. I was there with  the crazy woman who brought me into this running lunacy.

At some point I came to the realization that I wouldn't always be attending races with someone and that I would have to figure out how to do this on my own. Hence, the NYRR Women's Mini 10k. What better race could there be for me to do on my own? This race is about women and running. 40 years ago, women didn't run because it was thought that they couldn't handle it. Fuck that. I may be slower than slow but I WILL get it done. So my first solo race was finished!

This year a whole bunch of people I know raced the 40th anniversary Mini 10k. That's 6.4 miles of women moving. 6,122 finishers! Pretty damn awesome. I ran well for the most part. The first mile I maintained 10:15 pace - WAY too fast but I felt good and it was nice and flat. After that, once we turned into Central Park, the hills started. I slowed it down and turned on my Galloway timer (it's an small clip on timer that I use to program my walk run intervals). For this race I opted for 2 minutes of running and 30 seconds of walking. Luckily I have a math friend who entertains me by completing all race time calculations for me. She figured a run of 11 min/miles and a walk of 15 min/miles would put me around 1hr 15 min - if I hit that I would PR but it also left me about 3 minutes of wiggle room.

At exactly mile 4.75 my hamstring felt like it was going to explode. It had been twinging since about mile 2 or so but I could manage the twinges. I had on the Newtons and I truly believe that they helped me. Had I started the race heel striking, the twinges would've started sooner. I also made a point of getting into Chi running posture (as much as I know how) as often as I could - I just don't know how to maintain this posture. At mile 4.75, me, Emme, my mom & her friend Paula had all come together and were moving together at a nice steady pace when things turned from twinge to pain. I slowed down to a walk. I shook out my legs, did some quick stretches, anything to just get me moving again. By this time, my group had disappeared. I started to feel deflated as I lurched myself along the course.

I tried to run but could only go about a minute before the discomfort was just too much. Quitting is not an option so I switched gears to a super slow 1 minute jog, 1 minute walk. I kept glancing at my watch and wrestling the conflicting thoughts: I'm never going to break my time and Shut up and just finish the damn thing.

At the 800 meter mark I picked up my jog pace, took a brisk walk break right before the 400 meter mark and then RAN my ass to that finish line. A new PR was born!!