Bustin' ass...

I have been busting my ass. Monday thru Friday I wake up at 5am to do Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred - It kicks my ass every day. I'm definitely getting stronger - it's kind of amazing. Then when I get home from work I either treadmill it or run inside, basically in place, with Wii Fit on the Free Run activity....I checked the mileage and if Wii Fit says I ran 2 miles then in reality I really only did 1 mile. I've also been working up a serious sweat with Just Dance 2! Love it!
The snow is beyond ridiculous. I ordered Yaktrax so we'll see how they work. I gotta get outside!!!
I have some serious personal goals for 2011. As they say - Go big or Go home.
I'm tired and hungry now so I'm signing off. Thanks for the continued support!

Things...

OK - well here is where I'm at right now. I have been feeling like a zombie - really tired, unmotivated and just zoned out. I looked at my blog archives and saw that last winter I felt EXACTLY the same way. And going back in my memory - I know I pretty much feel like this every single winter.
Not only have I been feeling run down, but I'm also pissed off that no matter how much I bust my ass and track my food I continue to lose the same 2 pounds then gain the same 2 pounds the moment I do ONE thing outside the Monday-Friday food intake routine. It's pissing me off.
So - I went to the doctor to have some bloodwork done. I am not anemic and I do not have a thyroid problem but I AM severely deficient in Vitamin D. Lowest level my doctor has ever seen. I have been put on a prescription Vitamin D supplement for 8 weeks - a few weeks after that we'll retest. Hopefully - that will help me feel normal again...and there is a chance that my level is contributing to my 2 pound battle. Apparently new research is showing that low vitamin D levels in the northern hemisphere could be to blame for high rates of: MS, depression, schizophrenia....the list goes on. Great.
I had been waking up very early to get in about 20 minutes of Wii fit daily and although my center of balance is certainly improving - I know I need a little more intensity. I busted out the Jillian Michael's 30-day shred. I'm on day 3 of waking up at 5am and getting my ass kicked. That shit is HARD. It's nonstop - not even a quick pause for a sip of water. I better see some improvement. It's strength (with 5lb weights), cardio & abs - I'm hoping this helps with my running.
As for my running - I need to up this substantially. I have an April half-marathon & a May half. In addition to that, I've decided to do the NYRR 9+1 program so I'll be running 9 of their races and volunteering at 1. This is my potential schedule - want to join me?
2/26 Al gordon Classic 4 Mile, Brooklyn
3/27 Colon Cancer Challenge 4 Mile or 15K, Central Park
4/10 Scotland Run 10k, Central Park
5/14 NYRR 10k, Central Park
6/11 Women's only Mini 10k, Central Park
9/24 Fifth Ave Mile (**Maybe)
10/30 Marathon Kickoff 5 Mile
11/6 NYC Marathon!
12/10 Jingle Bell Jog, Brooklyn
Volunteer possibilities: 6/26 Achilles Hope & Possibility 5Mile, 7/16 Central Park Conservancy Run for Central Park 4 Mile, 9/17 Fitness Magazine 4 Mile (I may run this one instead!).
I think these are all spread out nicely to keep me on track and officially keeping tabs on my progress.

Let the fundraising begin!!

I have anxiety about fundraising. I want to raise as much as I can as soon as possible so I can focus on training. I don't know how to get people to understand how important this is and that even $10 helps!
This year I'm going to try some new ways to raise funds. I haven't figured out what to do yet though.
Feel free to send me suggestions!!
I got out there last weekend and walk/ran 6 miles on Saturday and 6 on Sunday. It was awesome to get outside - even though it was FREEZING!!
But - I will go outside every single chance I get since I have been diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency. Will be starting a weekly supplement soon - let's keep our fingers crossed that I will soon feel less like a zombie.

Happy New Year!

I am not one for making New Year's Resolutions. Why? Because I think the majority of people who make resolutions fail at them. And I don't think people should wait until the "New Year" to make a change - change should come at any point during the year...it's just actually doing it.
HOWEVER, I am not against setting goals for the new year. I think there is a difference.
So here are some of my goals in no particular order...fit time in for my training and stop letting a little mess in the house stand in the way of my goals, be a more patient parent, appreciate what I have more, be more consistent with my nutrition, do my part to wipe out brain tumors, etc, etc, etc. My list goes on. These are all things I have been working on but I am not perfect so I'm working on them all still.
I'm ready for this new round of training. I feel how much I've slipped back since the marathon - mentally and physically. And I'm not liking it. Not one bit.
I've got some work to do. I'm ready for it. Strangely, I think I'm craving this new round of challenges.
Now - some of you may not realize this about me - but I can be a bit competitive. With myself and with others depending on the situation. As for competing against others - running really isn't my place for that. I'm not sure I will ever consider myself a runner. BUT I can compete against myself with it. So my times have to drastically change. Yes - I'm proud of how far I've come but dear lord I am slow. That's going to change.
As for competing against others - as silly as this sounds - I've been on Wii Fit almost every day competing. My kids think I'm insane since they hear, "That's right! Who's #1 at tilt table!?" I'm working on getting to #1 in each activity and I'm trying to get enough points so I'm constantly unlocking new activities or yoga poses.
I'll be reaching out soon to help me raise $$ again. In advance, thanks for supporting me!

Future plans...

It seems I have inspired others around me. My mom has decided to run the Jersey Shore 1/2 marathon at the beginning of May  - which means I signed up too. My friend, Michelle, signed up for the Rutgers half at the end of April - which means I signed up for that as well. For me - these are good events to keep me motivated through the winter. Tis the season where I usually slack off - I don't like cold and I don't like darkness.
Now my mom has also signed up with Team McGraw for the 2011 ING NYC Marathon. Wow! She is not a runner - she is a crazy ass fast walker. Always has been. She's trying to throw in a few run bursts here & there now though. She's also working on getting her walking partner to sign up for the marathon so they can stick together. I went out with them last weekend for a walk/run. Saturday we did 3.5 miles; Sunday we did 5.5 miles. It felt good! In all honesty - I have done shit since the marathon. Prior to last weekend I think I made it out for a walk or run only twice.  Not good.
I'm just so damn tired. I'm really stressed out about a bunch of other things in my life which means I'm not sleeping well. I'm waking up around 3:30-4:00am and there I sit. Tossing & turning. But come 8:00pm - I'm dog tired and that's the end of it.
So - at my early wake up this morning, I decided that once I can breathe through my nose again, I will be using my insomnia as an opportunity to get in some super early morning runs. Anyone know where I can get those little flashlights that strap around your hands or wrists - or even built into gloves?? These are specifically for running in the dark.
This should help with my spring half marathon training goals. The distance doesn't scare me so I'm going for time goals. I still do not consider myself a runner though. I think the goals I have set for myself are realistic. I'm just looking to shave some time.
And the big news....despite the fact that I said I would NEVER run a full marathon again - I have signed up with Team McGraw once again to run NYC in 2011 and raise some $Cashola$. I'm worried about raising that much money again though. Hopefully I'll get in the lottery but I'm not counting on it. But my 3:30am wake up today gave me some time to think of a few ways that I may be able to raise donations. I'm thinking Etsy - and I'm thinking artwork....not mine - Marley & Chris. Will keep you posted on that.

Where I'm At...

     Here's where I'm at right now. I'm signed up for the Rutgers half-marathon on April 19th- I'm doing this one with Michelle. I'm using this one as a training run - more for the distance than for the speed. THEN I have the jersey shore half-marathon on May 1st. This one I'm going more for speed. My mom is doing this one too!      I'm doing what I'm calling reverse training. Since I just recently proved to myself that I can go the actual distance...now I'm working on my speed. SO- I'm going to act as if I'm starting from scratch. I'm going to continue my alternating of running/walking but since I'm going for speed, I'll start with more walking and my run "breaks" will be at my desired speed. Since I have plenty of time, I know that I can gradually build up the duration of my run breaks..and gradually reduce the duration of my walk breaks.
     According to my official marathon results, my average time was 15 min/miles....that factored in my runs at 11:30-12:00/min miles, my walking which was around 14:00-14:30/min  miles and the 20+ minutes waiting to go potty. What I'm looking to do is increase my run speed to 9:30-10:00min  miles.
     Yesterday I proved to myself that this speed IS do-able. I went about 3.5 miles - mostly walking but I did my run "breaks" at this speed. I noticed that there is a big difference between 9:30 and a 10:00min/miles. The 10:00 min/miles felt right...the 9:30 felt like I was getting reading to sprint and my cheeks were shaking (cheeks on my face, that is...but I'm sure my booty was shaking too!).
     I'm still not sure what I'm doing about the marathon next year. I entered the lottery so if I do get picked then of course I'm doing it. But if I don't get picked, I don't know what I'm going to do. Part of me wants to run and part of me just wants to cheer everyone else on. I guess I'll just play it by ear.
     Chris and my mom both entered the lottery...and they both have plans to run with Team McGraw. I feel that if I decide NOT to run - it would be amazing to still be part of the team AND to cheer not only my teammates on but my husband & mom too. I just don't know. Right now - the thought of training for a marathon again feels so, so draining.
     Now to talk about beer. For the last several months of training, I pretty much avoided drinking. I was more concerned with hydration and avoiding feeling like crap when I woke up. And at first, I felt deprived when I was out and didn't have anything or had 1 beer then switched to water. Eventually though, I lost my desire to have anything to drink. Now that the marathon is over...and I'm still kind of recovering in a sense, I figured it would be a good time to imbibe until I get back at it with seriousness after Thanksgiving. SO when our car broke down and we were stranded in some shithole in Maryland - we made a pit stop to the liquor store. 2 beers later and I was done - just didn't want anymore.
     OK - let me try again. So Friday night I bought myself a 6 pack. Again, 2 beers later and I'm done. What? SO not like my old self. Saturday we see some friends and we open a bottle of wine. This went down better...but I managed to fall asleep within 10 minutes of getting my kids to bed. Ehh - it seems I'm a little out of practice. It's healthier for me anyway, I suppose.
     Oh yeah - and the good news is that the weight that I managed to not lose an ounce of during marathon training (I'm talking not ONE ounce...in fact, I gained a few pounds)...is now coming off. I'm down 6 pounds. FINALLY.
     Now for the sad part...I was so sorry to hear that Team McGraw teammate, Jen McDevitt, lost her battle with brain cancer. She is truly an inspiration. When I first joined the team I was in it for Chris. But as you get to meet the team or read about others, you realize that you're doing it for a whole lot of people. Every time I bitched while running, I thought about Jen running while on chemo. Who the hell am I to bitch about ANYTHING?!?! Thank you for being an inspiration and I hope you are running with the wind.

Finisher!!

I'm still tired...and since Chris forgot to change the clock on the alarm clock - we are all up an hour earlier than needed to get the kids ready for school. SO - this might be unorganized - Sorry about that.

Heading in to the city on Saturday:
The excitement was great! Chris drove me & Yvonne to the train and while we were waiting some guy started talking to us about the marathon (He saw our Team McGraw backpacks). He had recently run the Marine Corps. Marathon and was telling us that we were going to break our goal time - boy was he wrong.
We get to the hotel - organize all our stuff for the morning. Clothes are set up & bag of crap is ready to go. We didn't think trying to get organized at 4am was such a good idea.

The pre-race pasta dinner:
Had an awesome time at the dinner. The food was awesome as was the crowd. It was great to finally meet in person all the people I've been speaking with online. Listening to all the team members share their stories about why they joined Team McGraw was inspiring. I started to cry when it was my turn so I wrapped it up quickly.

The night before:
This was rough. I really wanted to sleep well but all that nervous energy wasn't going to let that happen. I tossed and turned most of the night. I also woke up 2-3 times in a full body sweat which probably wasn't so great in terms of hydration. I decided to wake up at about 3:30am and have my coffee.

The start:
Although really cold, the village was fun. I was surrounded by thousands and thousands of people all about to do the same thing. I'm not good with maps - but I did think it was a little oddly organized. And remember - I did have a VIP pass so I walked over to the tent and went inside. Although warm, it was crowded and looked like just a place to get a bagel or muffin and sit at a table. Not my thing - so I decided to go back to my team. Oh yeah - no Edward Norton sightings :(

The real start:
We're moving our way to our corral and watching the 2nd wave cross the bridge. I was jumping out of my skin - I just wanted to get it done. We slowly work our way to the actual start line which took me a little over 10 minutes to get to there once we started moving. The bridge was COLD and very windy. My face felt totally frozen. Yvonne & I stayed together here - we started the incline with a fast walk for about the first mile. But it was so friggin cold we started to run so we could get into the sun ASAP!

Brooklyn:
The best! The energy was great! My energy AND the crowds. I was sticking to my alternating...I think the biggest mistake I made here was my speed. My runs were hitting 11:00 min/miles which was too fast...I tried to slow it down but I felt like no matter what I could not go slower than 12:00 min/miles. My walk breaks were around 14min/miles.
It was so awesome to see a few friendly faces too! Thanks MJ for the sign and cheer around mile 8 (I think??)...and it was great to see Patrick around mile 9. Also - thanks for my gatorade!
In addition to my speed mistake here - the potty mistake was huge. I had to pee around mile 6. Yes - I could've held it but I figured I better go early. I stood on line for 10-15 MINUTES!! WTF???? As I got back on my way - I noticed another bank of port-o-potties on the left that had NO line. I could have shaved all that time of waiting had I known there were potties on BOTH sides.
Oh yeah!! Almost forgot! I started listening to my ipod after Yvonne and I split up. I had it on low enough that I could still hear the crowds. I was probably around mile 4 or so when Limp Bizkit & Method Man came on....DEKALB! I actually laughed out loud! I love the word Dekalb - no idea why. And when we head into Brooklyn to hang out with Patrick & Liz we take Dekalb - which I repeatedly have to say loudly, "DEKALB!"

Queens:
Tried to make another quick pitstop - I think this was right around Mile 12 - I'm not exactly sure. Big problem here....although the line was short, the potty that opened up for me was NASTY. And I have a horrible gag reflex. I couldn't do it. I started dry-heaving and stumbled out into the fresh air without peeing. I think I dry-heaved for about 1/4 mile.
Passing the midway point was a great feeling. But I was concerned a bit since my hamstring was already a steady throb. As I was on the decline of the Queensboro Bridge I was worried I had missed John & Chris. I was bummed out and I was trying to remind myself to send a quick text at the next potty break. Then all of a sudden I saw a HUGE sign!! It was so awesome! Exactly what I needed at that moment. I stopped for hugs, gatorade and pictures!

59th Street Bridge:
Long stretch of quiet here. I saw a ton of people struggling or stopping and sitting on the divider for a break. I made a mistake here too - there is a spot where you can step up to the railing to take in the view. There were a bunch of people up there taking pics so I decided to stop and take in the view. Bad idea. Although I stopped - it felt like I was still moving and I could not get my hand to make contact with the railing. This is where the dizziness started. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb idea.
My wedding song came on and I started crying. In a good way - it was a reminder as to who this is for.

Coming off the bridge:
Within 1 minute of coming off the bridge I see a hot pink marshmallow! My family - Chris, Marley, Sean, my mom and Bill!! They were waving and taking pics and I started to make my way to them. I burst out crying - I had been dying to see my kids and there they were with signs. It was an unbelievable feeling.
5 minutes later my next batch of family! Paula, Paul, Dad, Annie and Mike! Made a quick stop to give smooches and pose for a pic and back on my way.

Loneliness:
1st Ave was not good. Really, really lonely. I realize that I was surrounded by crowds and other runners/ walkers but I was alone. The going was getting tough here. Here's where things changed. Although my hamstring was throbbing badly - this was a familiar pain. This is why I spent 6 weeks in physical therapy - the pain had gone away for most of my training but it had started to kick back up about 2 weeks ago. The other groin pain is relatively new. When I ran, I had groin pain....when I walked, I had hamstring pain. I opted for the hamstring pain because I know the feeling well so mentally, I would be able to handle it. This meant walking. So basically from mile 18 on was at a walk around 14 min/mile.
I can't quite describe the loneliness. I just felt really alone and it was a feeling that lasted with the rest of the race. Except for those few minutes that Jeff McMahon spotted me and jump on the course to walk with me for a few minutes. Again - it was great to see a familiar face. And to chat with someone for a few minutes. For those 5 or so minutes I forgot about my loneliness.

Boogie Down Bronx:
Things were getting even harder here. I started to feel really tired. I just wanted to be done. I was drinking my gatorade still and taking water at the station. Took another caffeinated GU hoping for a little boost.
Guy at the water station, "Go Kim! You don't need this exercise...you look Gooooood!" - Love the Bronx :)

Harlem:
I was DONE. Now I was getting angry. I was looking at my watch and getting mad that there was no way I was going to make 5:59:59. I was feeling a little light-headed/dizzy. I was physically exhausted. It took 2 hands to lift my gatorade bottle to my lips without it shaking. I was questioning my ability to finish. I was witnessing people throwing up on the side of the road, dropping down to the curb and just sitting, sitting down and taking off shoes to fix socks, wraps or bandages. It was not looking good here. The crowd had thinned out. The water stations were low on supplies. There was an ambulance and cop car about 1/4 mile behind me announcing they were marking the end of the police escort. I desperately tried to keep them that 1/4 mile back but they eventually caught up to me in Central Park.

Coming up on Central Park:
Someone needs to check the distance here. Why did it take so friggin' long to get to each new mile marker??? I really wanted to just stop. I was at the point that I really didn't give a shit if I finished or not. But I kept thinking about something I read recently....the memory of earning the medal is much greater than the memory of quitting. I repeated this over and over and over for the last 5 miles. All of a sudden I feel an arm around my shoulder, "Hey kid! You're almost there!!" I turned and it took a minute for mind to register that Patrick was on the course with me. He's always there when I need to vent some serious anger - sorry Patty, but you take it so well :)
2 seconds later I see my kids (and Chris, Mom and Bill). They are cheering that I'm almost done. Little did they know I wasn't sure if I was going to make it.
And then the rest of my family was at mile 25.5. They say I looked good - we are making them eye doctor appointments ASAP.
Where the fuck is the finish line!?!? The last 3/4 of mile was me repeating, "This sucks" and "Bullshit. Total fucking bullshit". I'm serious - I was PISSED off at this point.
Finally - the damn finish line. Crossed it. Yeah! Had to wait for a medal since the people in front of me had to create photo ops. I'm cold! Get the fuck out of my way! Finally get that medal around my neck - can move forward to be wrapped in foil...keep moving for my bag of snacks...keep moving. Get me out of this park. I'm FREEZING. Where the hell is Chris with my jacket?? Ahh...he's stuck in Central Park - they won't let him cross. Are you kidding me??? While he's trying to figure that out - I scope out a medical tent assuming there is a potty nearby. Yes! And there is toilet paper left! And it doesn't smell. AND for a few minutes I'm not freezing from the wind. I'm no longer dizzy but I'm scared to eat a snack because I thought my belly wasn't going to cooperate.
FINALLY - meet up with family around 60th (I had to walk there from 72nd)!! YEAH!!

My mom & Bill take the kids home....Chris & I head back to the hotel so I can get changed. It's not so easy to get back to the hotel. So crossing the finish line and getting together with the family takes 45 minutes. Trying to get back to 29th street takes even longer. There are NO available cabs. We tried in a few different spots but had no luck. Finally we just gave up and hopped on the subway. Changing into regular clothes felt great. But I kept my socks on - I was scared to see what was underneath.
We had just enough time to make our dinner reservations but that meant I had to skip the Foley's Pub after party. Team McGraw - I hope you all had an awesome day and I'm so sorry I didn't have enough time to meet up with you afterwards to celebrate!
Chinese food celebration with marathoners Liz and Naftali...along with their family & friends was fun. I was really zombie-fied though. My foot was really hurting and I was crashing. After having a little delicious salty food - Chris & I walked some more to finally get the car to make our way home.

Sleep came very easily last night. I'm sore today in weird spots. I'm hungry as hell too.
I realize what I did was a huge accomplishment but I'm really pissed that it took me so long. And I'm really pissed that I really, really struggled at the end.
I will not be doing another marathon. That is for sure. Being the cheering section works just fine for me. Half-marathons is where you will see me!
Congrats to all the participants. And thanks to all the spectators who kept me going.
Peace out.